nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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