i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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