he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
