I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
