I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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