my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
