i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
