your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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