apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
