how can u be prego again
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
