I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
