You're a womanizer and a bitch.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
