We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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