The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
