hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
She told me I should be a condom model.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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