Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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