Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
