Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
