quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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