I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
