Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
