so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I did not marry a roomba.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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