Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
