this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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