hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
