Yo dont text me then not text me
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize