I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
