we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
