i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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