Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
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