do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
honey bunches of taint.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
