This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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