Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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