If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
