You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
