so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
