a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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