If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
