dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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