i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
