hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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