Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
