I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
