But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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