Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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