i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
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