Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
