my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
