I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
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