i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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